Monday, October 25, 2010

Last week I had a boyfriend; this week I don't.

I start my very first blog with the Fuglee Truth.  Last week I had a boyfriend; and this week I don't.  My mind is filled with all the sweet and intimate things he told me.  Just last Saturday I was at his house watching his Yankees lose game 2 of the ALCS.  He was happy to see me.  I watched the game with his nephew and him as he and I cuddled and ate some snacks.  I could go on and on with direct quotes regarding his feelings for me.   But somewhere between Sunday and today; I got the coldest brush off in history; WORSE than Carrie's break-up post-it from Jack Burger.   This was my BOYFRIEND; and from Friday till today; (Monday) I haven't heard one single word from him.  What a stab to the heart!  Not even the g.d decency to call or TEXT me and let me know that it was over.  Some of you ladies are probably thinking that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill; you are the ones I'm writing this blog for.  Your boyfriend should not go three days without contacting you.  Especially when just a week before; you had communicated on the regular throughout the day. 
This wasn't a bootie call.  Nathan and I established that we were in a relationship.  He kept joking with me and calling me "dater."  He'd say that he didn't treat girls he was just "dating" the way he treated me.  He didn't bring girls he was just "dating" around his family and his mother.  He didn't have girls he was just "dating" over to watch a game and have dinner.  And on a date at the movies he finally asked me if his "girlfriend" was having a good time.  He was my man, and we shared the deepest of thoughts and conversations about our future; what he'd wear during our wedding, and the color of our future-child's eyes.  In fact; just thursday night he jokingly texted me about a party-favor he'd like to have at our wedding. 
It was Friday that I really noticed he was being distant.  It was Friday that I last heard his voice.  It was Saturday that I still tried to call and text him; believing in my heart that he was just busy with his family and preoccupied with the Yanks and Bruins getting their asses handed to them.  It was 12:30 am that I called him with tears in my eyes; it went to voicemail.  I left no message.  Although hanging by a tiny thread; I had some integrity left.  Thank God for my best friend, Salina.  She encouraged me and reassured me that no matter what; I don't deserve a man who cannot communicate with me.  I do not deserve to be ignored, and that the question was not "What went wrong?"  The question was, "Do you really want to be with a man who is going to be so fickle, inconsiderate, and selfish?" 
Sunday afternoon:  I let her words sink in and finally decided to get out of bed.  Gym time.  I worked out hard and stood there till I was exhausted.  Feeling better about myself I gave Salina a call.  During a break-up, or a stand-up; it's so easy to resort to thinking that something is wrong with you.  "Maybe I'm not pretty enough."  "Maybe I'm not thin enough."  "Maybe I'm not young enough."  Why do we do this to ourselves?  After weighing the memories of our short relationship; I realized that it wasn't just about me and my "short-comings."  By no means am I innocent or perfect; I had some dirty laundry in this temporary bond.  But I guess I have to chalk this one up under the category: Not meant to be. 
More to come soon. 


  1. It's really great that you have good friends to support you and give you an outside opinion to break your thought process so it doesn't end up being the death of you.

    I'm glad that you're not resorting to self doubt. Good job!

    Dating and love is like a boxing match, not a gunfight. You can still pick yourself up and live to see another day.